In Mysterious Ways
Ah... it's been more than a year already. I could only breath a sigh of relief that I was able to survive what I consider the toughest year in my life. Indeed, a series of unfortunate events!
May 27, 2004 - I was crying hysterically in the conference room in our office with two of my best friends (co-managers) comforting me, obviously not knowing what to say. It was the day I felt for the first time what others call "the whole world crushing on you" experience. I can only affirm. Weeks before that some crisis had already started. I learned I was a co-dependent. Those who had been there know what I meant by the term. And on that day, the 27th of May, another burden was laid upon my shoulder. Needless to say, I went home that day, weeping and with a great question in my heart - WHY? Why all at the same time? Why now?
Now I had understood that they were part of the series of those unfortunate events. It happened to complete the story.
Nobody could completely understand what I went through this same time of the year last year. Not even those people whom I shared the story with. Not even those people whom I share the pain with. It was like armageddon.
But it was not the end of the world as I thought. It was the beginning of a greater pain. The pain of being co-dependent.
Every day was excruciatingly painful. Every time I woke up, I wish I never did. I was torn between giving up and having hope, the former, the stronger force. Everything was in a dark tunnel. Everything. Everyday was a living hell.
Restless. Depressed. Hopeless. In agony. Those words were not even enough to describe how I felt.
After over four months of full struggle, things started to fall into their right places. I could not decipher how. I don't even know how I survived. There is only one thing I am sure. It wasn't the work of man. I am not even sure if it was our faith.. but for certain, it has something to do with Divine powers.
I am still filled with awe and wonder.
He works in ways we cannot see. He will make a way!
