Carpal Tunnel Syndrome

Aside from my sleep debt problem, another major medical issue I have had longer than I could remember is my CTS or Carpal Tunnel Syndrome.

CTS is condition wherein the median nerve which runs from the forearm to the hand is compressed at the wrist. The carpal tunnel is the passageway where this median nerve runs through. An irritation of the ligaments, tendons or bones at the carpal tunnel squeezes the median nerve which causes numbness, tingling sensation and in extreme cases, pain.

In 2001, five years after working in a bank and just barely two years after I gave birth to Joshua, now 10, I started to feel what I would describe in the Filipino lingo, "PASMO or PASMA". My fingers started to get numb and got worsed overtime. The numbness would extend to the forearm and my upper back. One night I woke up and couldn't feel anything on my right hand. I couldn't lift it and I thought I got paralyzed. I shouted to my sister for help and had cried hard because aside from the pain I felt, I had no idea what was happening then.

I consulted a doctor who diagnosed me of Carpal Tunnel Syndrome. I had undergone an electrodiagnostic test also which showed the CTS more prominent on the right hand but also present on the left.

I couldn't remember the number of times my mom scolded and blamed me for this condition. She said it was because I never listened to her when she warned me during my youth, not to overwork my hand.

"Pasma", a distinct Filipino illness marked by numbness, pain and tremors of the hands is so similar to CTS that I think people who have "pasma" may have CTS in reality and just don't realize it.

Treatments suggested for CTS include physical therapy and neuro-surgery, both I don't want to undertake because of the cost. In the surgery procedure, the transverse carpal ligament as shown in the picture below is cut to widen the passage and release the tension.

Recently, after moving to Singapore, my CTS had worsened. I inquired about the cost of surgery to check if there is a way I can afford it. One clinic responded that a micro-surgery which is more effective costs $4,500.00 or P145,000.00. My gosh, I could get about 500 hand massage and paraffin treatment with that amount. Worst, many articles over the net doesn't suggest surgery because there is no guarantee that CTS will not recur.

For now, my only option is to keep my hands rested (not possible, I know) and get regular hand massage (not very possible also).

Wait a minute, I gotta shake my hands, I have been on the computer for over three hours already.

Slept Debt Accumulating Fast!

Conservatively, since 2004 to date, I have accumulated no less than 3,600 hours of sleep debt already. And that's just computed based on 2 hours lack of sleep each night. A very conservative computation indeed as most nights I would sleep only for 4-6 hours.

This started when I worked in a call center on graveyard shift straight for the two years. Since then, my body clock seems to have been altered extensively that even if I got nothing to do anymore, my mind would keep me awake.

Surveys show that sleep deprivation has become increasingly common and affecting millions of people especially those from the more developed countries. Sleep debt is the difference in the number of hours one should be sleeping versus the number of hours one actually slept and the more you accumulate sleep debt, medical research said, the more you are prone to chronic diseases such as hypertension, heart disease, arthritis, or obesity.

Ouch, did I just say obesity? Yes, obesity is one of the long term effects of chronic deprivation. Ouch again, I am afraid I am a likely candidate. I haven’t been able to keep my weight down after I gave birth to my first child. Although, I never really exceed the pass mark of obesity, I am already overweight. Well, at least not yet obese. Just overweight, I repeat.

Just like any other debt, sleep debt can be paid. Taking a marathon sleep on weekends isn’t a better way to do it. Sleep doctors suggest that it is best repaid by taking in an extra hour or two each night. Go to bed when you are sleepy and tired and just allow your body to wake you up in the morning.

This may sound a little impossible for me to do. Whether I like it or not, I have to get up at 5AM to prepare breakfast for our bread winner. The only way for me to catch up some sleep is in the afternoon when I put my little boy to sleep. With an hour or two in the afternoon, I am not even sure if I can repay all that I owed my body for the past 5 years.

But still I won’t promise to go to bed early at night and sleep for eight hours. I don’t know, I just feel that sleep is a waste of time. Stubborn me!

Today's Menu: Hypertension

I finally decided to go back to my dermatologist today for a very, very long overdue follow up check for my contact dermatitis. I dropped by the Vital Signs section of the clinic for a quick blood pressure check. I was surprised to find out my BP is at high, 150/90. I told the nurse I'll take a rest and come back in a few minutes. I was surprise not because it's something new. I had been hypertensive already. I was surprised because I felt no symptoms at all. Most of the times that my BP soars high, I would feel some discomfort already. That's when I take my medicine. I don't really follow the doctor's advise to make Norvask a maintenance medicine. I am afraid of complications.

Today, the truth that hypertension is really a traitor disease was clear to me. It can occur without any symptoms at all. I tried not to panic as I don't want to worsen it. I proceeded to my derma's appointment and was prescribed Prednisone for a week. As I was about to leave the clinic, I realized I haven't asked her if it's okay to take steroids when blood pressure is high. Good thing she was still there and was told to cross out Pred from the prescription.

Sigh, I could have die because of that should I haven't had my BP checked earlier. Ouch!

Scheduled Dental Surgery for Josh

After confirming the date of their final exams from Integrated Montessori I was finally able to schedule Joshua's dental surgery. March 16 was the first date I booked but after realizing that a follow up date would fall on a group meet-up I have to attend, rescheduled it to March 18.

Joshua's front incisor is impacted and is growing horizontally. It has to be removed before other dental procedures can be done.

Dr. Joseph Macasiray would be doing the surgery as was highly recommended by Dr. Tan, Joshua's orthodontics. I have yet to visit their office anytime this week but I've already read good reviews about him in Girltalk, a female online community I frequent to whenever I need local information. The cost of the surgery is P8,000.00. I asked if they can do the surgery with the patient sedated as Josh is a bit afraid of the discomfort it will give. Yes, one can opt to be sedated but has to undergo several medical evaluation. I almost dropped the phone when the secretary told me the tests would amount to approximately P50,000. OMG, never mind, I said. Josh can take it especially when he will find out about the price. It will be easy to bribe him. A piece of PSP cd (pirated, oooopss, bad!) would be enough. Cheap kid.

I just pray that it will be as painless as possible and with minimal discomfort and I pray this would be the last dental surgery he has to undergo.

Xylocaine is the Name

I want to make sure I will not forget the name of the medicine that Joseph is allergic to. Xylocaine is a local anesthesia commonly used in dental procedures. Joseph had allergic reaction to it when he underwent a minor surgery when a cut in his chin had to be stitched.

Ah, I Can't Wait Any Longer

The past week seems like a year to me and I guess I still have to endure two more years going to work every night before I could have my normal life again.

Since I started in PS August of 2004 I had always been into the graveyard shift and had been loving it. This time however, it had became a heavy cross for me to carry. I started to feel tired whenever I think of work, I have my moodswings which I rarely had before. In short, I had stopped loving work.

The downtime could no longer be cured by Starbucks. I could not bear not having enough sleep during daytime. I become more depressed when it is sleep time thinking I could not sleep again. The scorching heat of the summer sun had contributed much to my dilemna and the noise of the playing children is no longer a music to a mother's ear.

To others two weeks is too short. To me, it is a lifetime.

Good News and Bad News

Two days of not eating is too much for my suffering, just trying to survive with water and lots of it. I could only imagine what Josh and Jehu had to suffer earlier when they got their mumps. Got it from them. It was too timely for me as I am on leave from work. Ahhh.... I am suppose to go to Singapore on Thursday but I am not going anymore.

Much more, I am 5 weeks on the way. This is the good news. However, both Jehu and I don't know what to feel. We're happy yet so worried because of my present situation. I had taken several medications of ibuprofen and antihistamine the past few days for my mumps. To add to my suffering, I cannot eat anything. Even if my doctor said that I should not worry about it, I still am. That is the bad news.

When we told Josh that he is going to have a baby brother/sister, he did not show too much interest. Especially when he asked me when is the baby coming and told him, in December. In his mind, that's still way too far. But when I told him that the baby is already in mom's tummy, he jumped for joy. He became too excited. That's all he wanted to hear. I never realized it earlier.

He can't wait to give the baby it's name. When I told him that I want it biblical like his, he gave me a weird look. "Mom", he said, "It's not gonna be Moses or Noah, right?"

Hmnn... why not?

Ash Wednesday ba?

Nagulat ako, Ash Wednesday na pala. Ang bilis ng panahon, katatapos lang ng Christmas tapos ngayon lenten season na naman. Tsk! Bilis nating tumanda nito.

Neways, di na naman ako nakatulog today. Haay.. lentek na customer yang Nicole na yan, hanggang sa pagpikit ng mga mata ko dala dala ko pa yong concern ko sa account nya. Tuloy di ako makatulog. I was trying to catch some sleep pa naman kasi pupunta sana akong derma.. yan tuloy, di ako matuloy-tuloy. Kakatamad na talaga lumabas ng bahay lalo na pag ganito ang klema, ang init sa labas.. feeling ko magiging useless ang pagpapaganda ko if ma e-expose lang din ako sa sobrang init ng araw.. Haay, bruhang buhay talaga to o. Di pa ako makatulog, sakit pa ng ulo ko, di ko pa maintindihan katawan ko, ang init init pa ng panahon, di pa ako makapag derma at worst me pasok pa ako mamaya. At nag ka carbo loading na naman ako to compensate na wala akong magawa. Sarap mag call in talaga, ewan ko lang kung di ko lang habol habol na makapagtipid ng leave credits.

Ewan, gulo ng mind ko la naman akong iniisip na seryoso puro kababawan lang. I have turned on the airconditioner na... Naman! At least man lang lalamig kunti paligid ko.. pero ang init pa din. Kaya i love the rains. Kasi pag umuulan sarap ng feeling. Abala nga lang sa pag school ni Josh at pagko-commute pag umuulan pero seyet, pag ganitong panahon, masasabi ko talaga i love the rain.. hehehe!

Waaaaaa... ngayon ko lang naiisip, pa summer na pala... so isa lang ang ibig sabihin nito... hotter days to come. Good luck nalang sa Meralco bills namin. Bahala na. Mayaman na daw kami ngayon e kasi ung meralco namin abot na ng 4K ang monthly namin. Naman! Di pa ako nag e-aircon nyan sa umaga ha.

Almost 3.... pag makatulog man ako ngayon barely 4 hours lang sleep ko. Tsk! Pilitin kong makatulog sa station mamaya. Kaya lang i doubt rin kasi ba naman para naman kaming bola nito palipat lipat ng station. Tapos napapaligiran pa kami ng mga full time inbound reps --- ang iingay! Hay, gustong gusto ko na talaga mag call in... ano ba?

Duh! watevah! bahala na! watever na papasok sa mind ko mamaya.. tapos eto pa ha... sumakit pa lalamunan ko kanina... feeling ko magkakasakit ako.. tagal ko na ring din nagkasakit. Bawal magkasakit.. me bata sa bahay!

Sigh... sigh na naman... sigh pa once more.... aarrgghh! Goodbye derma, next week ka na lang, okay, maganda pa rin naman ako kahit di kita puntahan ngayon. Gosh!

EDSA I – February 24, 2006

Somehow I got the much needed absolution today, after three long years. It’s such a great feeling knowing your soul is His again. “I firmly resolve to avoid all occasions of sins. Amen.” This is my new year’s resolution. Along with this is the undertaking to be more patient, to hold my temper, to be humble and to be more understanding of other people’s feelings especially of those I treasure the most. If there is one commandment I have not broken, it is “to honor your father and mother”. They are not perfect just like everyone else. They are not typical parents. Nevertheless, I never doubted they love us with all their heart.

There is, however, one thing I failed to do today – getting the needed sleep. The sun was just too excited today to see me whole again, it was shining soooo brightly. Infact, the government even declared today as a holiday. Isn’t it great? They were celebrating for their prodigal daughter had come home. No classes means no stillness at home. Josh’s friends are making so much noise in the room. They were like, laughing and talking the whole day. Let the children’s laughter, so they say. Though I had turned on the air conditioner, I choose not to sleep anymore. I’d rather not be dead to the world for 24 hours than get a 3-hour sleep and end up having a terrible headache when I wake up. I am thinking not going to work today but I don’t want to waste my leave credits. With our inboxes all clear, I guess I can take in-between-call naps… hehehe… model employee.

I am still trying to figure out whether I would go to the office earlier or just in time for my shift. I don’t know which timeslot has a heavier traffic taking into account the rallies going on --- I guess not for the Edsa I celebration but for the call to ouster GMA.

Gosh! I remember, I had committed to Leni to join the Freedom Build tomorrow but I don’t think I can still survive 48 hours without sleep. I might forgo the activity. Maybe next time when they will hold the action on a regular day… I mean not in concurrence with a national holiday where security threat is at high. I had seen how the military force is in red alert today and tension might arise by tomorrow… hehehe… I found a good excuse. Sorry.

Call in or not… Call in or not….. still playing in my mind. Let’s see what happens by seven. There would be six left of them if I don’t go to work today. Hmnn… kaka konsensya ba? Que sera sera.