Aimless Wanderings

I am not ashamed to admit that I spent many years of my life in an endless aimless wanderings and yes, to this moment I am still on board that ship that carries me to nowhere.

Let me show you how directionless my life is. Take note, I am only talking about its career aspect.

During my grade and high school  years, I always answered "to be an engineer" every time I was asked what I wanted to become. After high school graduation, I couldn't decide anymore what to take up in college. Upon my mom's persuasion, I took up teaching. I majored in a subject I was better at, English. While on my second year, I wanted to shift majors. I preferred to have majored in Science but since I don't want to be left behind by my friends, I decided to stick to the original plan. It turned out I didn't want to teach English and I didn't want to teach at all. I ended up a banker. I thought I'd be a banker forever.

Instead after five years in the bank, I resigned and ventured into a business which turned out to be the worst decision I've ever made. When I went back into the workforce, any position except banking was all I wanted. I got into a secretarial work then eventually into human resources. Another uneventful employment. We moved to Manila, got into a human resources job again. I loved it. I wanted to stay with that kind of job but the job didn't like me. When my employment contract ended, I got into a call center. When you're in a big city like Manila where competition is very tough, anything that pays well, regardless of position is all worth it. I never got a chance to be promoted although it wasn't unlikely because after two years, I decided to leave the workforce to pursue what I dreamed of becoming... a housewife and stay-at-home-mom.

To be honest with you this is the best position I have ever held. I would not want to relinquish my throne. I am enjoying the freedom it gives me. I can work at home if I choose to. I did for over a year. I baked for profit, it was so much fun. However, since we have to move to Singapore and eventually to Dipolog, I left the industry.

Now, faced with a little uncertainty, I wanted to earn back an income I've lost. I am back to my aimless wanderings but this time with only a few choices, employment not one of them. I will be working from home but I am torn between taking a guaranteed paid job or do what I wish to do with no guarantee of payment.

I am back on the boat again and starting on a journey to nowhere while savoring every moment of the now here. I don't regret not having used my degree to serve its purpose. Much of my friends would say it's "sayang" (a waste) that I graduated with honors and haven't benefited from it. No regrets. I don't envy colleagues who now hold higher positions in the industry. Despite the lack of career stature, I love where I am at the moment. I am not rich, I don't have material possessions but I have freedom and I am happy. A little confused but definitely HAPPY.

Drowning

The past days I had scary dreams seeing my little boy in the water in what seemed like a drowning scene but is actually not. It's either he comes out of the water just fine or he just manages to swim. I don't feel good with dreams like this and try to be cautious and watchful with his health as in the past similar dreams were consequently followed by sickness and my fears were given justice, he got cough and colds today.

Weeks before I gave birth to Joseph, I had several dreams about drowning. Jehu drowning, Joshua drowning. Pretty scary. Joseph struggled for his life when he came out of this world.

Just before he was a year old, I got the same bouts of dreams. Weeks later, he got very ill with asthma. This is why drowning dreams scares me a lot. However, it gives me a heads up.

Ego

.... is hurt, that it did not get what it wants
.... but presence overcomes it and ego did not survive what it perceived as an attack
.... ego wants to fight back but with awareness it's defeated, for now
.... and so the process continues until what's left is being

my weird dreams are coming back, it's been a long time since i haven't had one and when i woke up this morning i was damned too tired, body aching so badly, got so stressed out from days of unending time on the road. anyhow, i got the much deserved massage today and felt relieved

Flying Session

Sleeping from 6-10AM isn't oversleeping, I'd like to justify. I was just trying to catch up some sleep while the kids were expected to wake up late and I wasn't regretful at all. Nope, especially when during those three hours all I did was flyyyyyy! It's been ages since I last dreamed of flying and boy, I was so happy hahaha. I felt like a kid again.

A FAT KID!

A Visit from Grandpa

We were sitting in a place that looked like a park. There was Lola Luz and some other family members when suddenly Daddy Toting seated on the other edge of the bench I was sitting on. He put up his feet on the bench and smiled. I told him it's been quite a while since he came to show up. I asked anyone around if they saw him. Nobody except Jon, my nephew, saw Lolo Toting and Jon was quite scared to even look at him.

He looked the same since the last time I saw him alive, more than 10 years ago. He hasn't showed up in my dreams as he used to for the longest time now, probably more than 3 years already. In my dreams he was asking Arnold, my brother in law, the status of their PR (Permanent Residence) application. Then Jehu woke me up. "Hay distorbo mo, di pa kami tapos mag-usap ng lolo ko".

Lolo Toting came to me last night to remind me of two things:

September 16 - our schedule for submission of PR application
September 17 - his death anniversary

Crazy? Of course not, I was very used to having departed loved ones visit me in my dreams to remind me of their birthdays and death anniversaries.

Chippendales Dance

Sorry, I just can't help it, I'm having so much fun with this...

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JOWLS: Starring Jehu, Josh & Joseph

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What's Your Discipline Gadget?

Am I a bad momma if I induce corporal punishment on my kids at times? Would you do it to your kids and do you believe that corporal punishment is sometimes necessary to instill discipline in your children?

My hubby and I are guilty as charge as being lenient parents probably giving our kids too much freedom of expression at home. I consider them lucky. I grew up with a firewood or belt on my butt and mongo seeds or salt on my knees all the time. I shudder at the thought but I never hated my mom for doing such. However, I never want my kids to experience the same.

But I do I have this at home.

Small canes like this are sold
in stores here in Singapore

 
We bought it for the sake of fun but had never used it on my boys. I never needed it.

This is enough.

And I could use this if I want to, but I don't.

Yes, I do give my two boys a whip when needed but this is the form of discipline that is sparingly used at home. It is extreme measure for us and a whip or two is already enough. I am proud to say that my kids are not rowdy. They are just kids. Makulit, malikot minsan, maingay, makalat but that's what kids are.

Cane Stroke: Would you want it in the Philippines?

For quite sometime now I have been intrigued how the caning punishment in countries like Malaysia and Singapore feels like and thought it's funny as a form of punishment. However, a news struck me again today about a Malaysian model who will be sentenced to 6 strokes of caning for drinking beer. I saw the video below months back while searching about this punishment but never thought that judicial caning is worst than I imagined.



Until today I finally did some digging in the net to find out just how painful is a cane stroke and why it looks like it's being dreaded as a form of punishment. The fact that it is the second highest form of punishment next to death sentence in Malaysia shows just how horrible it could be.

Caning officials wear protective smocks, gloves, and goggles in order to avoid contact with blood and flesh.

Ouch, ouch, ouch! Then I thought.... could this be effective if implemented in the Philippines against law offenders? No, not for the hardcore criminals like rapists and murderers.. come on, it would not have effect on them, don't you think? I think mas bagay eto sa mga snatchers, holdapers at mga magnanakaw na kapitbahay.They're the type of offenders who are most of the times just released back to the streets after a very short period only to commit the same crime and caught over and over again. Now think.... if they will be caned before they are released to the society again most likely they'd dread the pains of being caught. Hindi man sila mabugbog ng taong bayan, wasak naman pwet nila sa 'kin pwede na yon.

So what dya think?

I Attended Neale Donald Walsch's Talk

As soon as I heard the voice I recognized it and run outside to join the crowd listening to him. I haven't heard Neale Donald Walsch's speech but last night it was as if I have heard his voice all my life that I didn't have a hard time recognizing it was him speaking. I didn't understand what he was speaking about. I couldn't remember a thing. All I could remember was I went there to get his autograph. Yaiks! Of all the things to do!


But it's amazing, I met Manols there, the man responsible for introducing Walsch writings to me. And boy, I knew I wasn't just in my dreams. I was there somewhere in the past or the future. I don't need to convince you. I don't even need to convince myself.

Will Read 'The Power of Now' Tomorrow

Title -> pun intended

I've finally gotten hold of the book after months of waiting. No, not waiting for copies to be available. Waiting for myself to finally pick up the book and pay it. I've picked it up many times but wouldn't want to buy it because I know in the Philippines this cost cheaper. Hay, umiiral ang ka cory.
I picked it up once in Kinokuniya but did not pay it because it costs over 20 bucks. I thought I would just buy it at San Bookstore in LotOne, a mall in Choa Chu Kang because I saw it costs only $11.00+. That's half the price. So one day, not so long ago (about a three weeks), I finally decided to buy it, picked it up, handed the cashier $12.00 only to be told it costs $23.50. The $11.50 on the pricetag is the rebate if I opt to return the book after one month. Rent, in short. Oh gosh, I thought that was it. I only got $15 bucks in my wallet so there was no way I could buy it.

Just the other day, I finally bought it. Bought. I don't have intentions of returning it. I am keeping it. I don't need reviews or endorsements for me to be convinced about the authenticity of the book nor the author. I have gone through Books 1-3 of Conversations with God so absorbing and remembering my truths with this book would be a breeze.

I am not making a book review here. I am not good at it. I will just say that it is worth reading if you have an open mind. Read for yourself and find out your truth.

For now, I am still at the first chapters. Great, I am reading The Power of Now tomorrow. I still have other things to finish for now.

My 18-55mm is Back, thanks David (Fatigue)

Just after a day after sending it to David, (Fatigue, the repairman) he texted me saying that the lens was fixed even though he mentioned repair would take a week. Great job David, highly recommended for those in Singapore who needs repair for their lenses. Much more the charge was very minimal.

Thanks again, David!

PS: If you need David's number, leave me a comment.

Retire Nikkor 15-55mm

August 02, 2009 - An unfateful Sunday afternoon at Choa Chu Kang Park. I just turned my back for a few seconds to kill the mosquito on my son's forehead and a toddler toppled the tripod I had mounted which sent my Nikon down with a bang. Who can afford to get mad at a kid just as old as my little lovely boy? All I could say was "oh, okay, no problem". The truth is.. big problem.

My 15-55mm lens jammed because of the fall and now I am left with 50-200mm. Imagine how difficult it is to take a close up shot of kids at play with a long lens. And imagine taking macro with it.

I have to take it to the repairman tomorrow who happens to be a Filipino also. I am pretty positive he can still fix it. Better than buying a new lens for over 200bucks.

This is all I could live with for now until I can get my hand on a Tamron 18-270mm, whotwhoo!

I've Conquered Video Games

A major breakthrough I have done very lately is conquering the world of video games.

Six years ago, Joshua at the age of 3 was first exposed to the world of video games when one night his dad installed Warcraft in our computer (without my permission!). At four he was already playing R-18 video games in the computer. Call of Duty, Medal of Honor, name it, he's probably played it. Although, he also had educational games like Jumpstart, his preference was on the excitement provided by the violent games.

And maybe you would ask why I allowed it? Because I played them too. Dad oftentimes played with Josh and it seemed like everyone's enjoying, so who would resist. It didn't bother me then as Josh was doing well in school, really doing well to make it to the honors list.

But things started to change when his dad was assigned an overseas work and has gotten the money and opportunity to buy our first game console - The XBOX 360. Don't get it wrong, I objected to the idea of buying any game console but heck, what can I do when he just came home with the console already in his luggage.

However, it didn't end there. Next came PS2, soon there's Sony PSP and Nintendo DS Lite.

As most video games does, Josh got hooked with video games buying cd's after cd's. Back in the Philippines it is very easy to get addicted to video games as there are thousands of PIRATED games sold anywhere at just 5-10% the price of original video games, how convenient! Imagine buying a pirated version of Gears of War for just P150.00 (US$3.00) than buying the original CD for almost a hundred bucks and still get the same fun.

Looking back, I regretted every moment that I wasn't able to take control of my son's playing habit. A busy schedule sometimes necessitates parents to let their kids play video games to keep them busy too and avoid interfering with the parents busy schedule. In short, letting the video games or tv do the baby sitting. How bad of me! This has taken a toll on Joshua's studies. He was playing more than he was studying and his attention span affected.

But one day, the breakthrough happened. Our moved to Singapore provided me the big opportunity to finally put almost everything behind, literally. The Xbox which was due for repair was left in Manila while the PS2 went to the custody of my nephew.



Yes, I am proud to say that Jehu and my son Josh has finally accepted the reality (with a heavy heart) that there will be NO MORE game console in our living room and yesterday while we were at the mall, they tried to sweet talk me to allow them to have even just a Wii. NO, NO, NO! My answer is final and I'm not going to give in.

Since we had given up those addictions, Josh is into drawing again. Now, he's into animation. I wouldn't mind. Just no violent and addicting games.

I'm Starting a Clutter Free Life

If you have known me well enough from childhood, you will know that once in my life, I had lived in a trash can. From time to time, I still do. Like Oscar the Grouch, there are some trash in life that I just can't live without. However, that has started to change in the past four years or so. I had started a to live a clutter free life - at least physically.

I grew up secretly envious of some friends' houses which are small yet so clean and tidy. Perhaps my parents don't even know about this. We had a big house back in the province but there was something in it that I just didn't understand. We couldn't keep it organize and clean all the time. One factor was the location of our house. It was right along the highway and our roads were not even asphalted until about 15 years after? It was very dusty all the time. But it wasn't what makes it chaotic to my eyes. It's the clutter.

Anyway, I grew up, eventually lived in the city, got married and had a kid. The nightmare seems to have followed me even to my adulthood although things have dramatically improved. We no longer live along a dusty highway and our house is already clean. Yes clean.. but not clutter free.

Perhaps you are trying to figure out just how cluttered it is. I am not talking about crampled papers or dirty laundry scattered all throughout the house. I am referring to the things in our home that we don't actually need: broken toys, outgrown clothing, plastic spoons collected from Jollibee and Mcdonalds, paper napkins from the coffee shop, scratched CD, name it! I even had folded Chippy and Mr. Chips plastics in my drawer!

See, these are the clutters I am referring to. I had a hard time outgrowing them.

Mysteriously (I'd say mysteriously because I can't recall how the change started), things had changed dramatically. Oh, I recall, it started when some emotional baggage were put down and blessings started to came in and we could afford to buy the things that we really needed (and wanted). I started to unpack the house and gave out all the still useful stuff to our yayas and neighbors. I started to simplify things. I loved it and keep it that way every now and then.

I realized that the reason of all the clutter in our house (including our old, old house) is 'LETTING GO'. I simply couldn't let go of most things in life. I held on to my old clothes in the hope that it will still fit me after a few months but ended up giving them away after two years. I held on to that broken phone in the hope that I could still have it fixed. I hold on to the old magazines thinking I will still need them in the future for reference or for my son's school project. I hold on to small gadget boxes expecting to use it as a box for Christmas gifts. Oh, dear!

After such realization, I make it a point to clear out our home from stuff we don't need and either give them out or auction them at super low, low prices. I once donated a bagful to Gawad Kalinga, thanks to Len! I gave out used school bags and school shoes to my son's friends who can hardly afford it. Those that are useless, I threw them away and give the benefit to our "basureros". They resell boxes, busted appliances and plastics to the junkshop.

Goody, it made my life better. It made cleaning easier. It brings in more blessings, I swear!

Then, just when I thought I have more or less a near clutter free life (although I still slip at times), I just got across this awesome ZENHABITS website (just an hour ago) and the first thing that struck me is the article about EMAIL ZEN: Clear up your Inbox.

Whew! I got so ashamed of myself. I thought I have done so much. Go read the article and clean up your Inbox. I just did! I deleted every folder I have without even taking a peek at what's inside. I deleted everything in my Inbox without second thoughts and promised myself I will never regret it. The next thing I'll do is delete all my other email addresses. It wasn't mentioned in that article but I'm going to do it next. See, I wouldn't want to delete them because I can't let go of them.

It is just one article I have read and it had slapped me in right on my face. I am expecting more slappings as I will start to dig in what's more to do to make my life clutter free.

Would you come and join me?

Carpal Tunnel Syndrome

Aside from my sleep debt problem, another major medical issue I have had longer than I could remember is my CTS or Carpal Tunnel Syndrome.

CTS is condition wherein the median nerve which runs from the forearm to the hand is compressed at the wrist. The carpal tunnel is the passageway where this median nerve runs through. An irritation of the ligaments, tendons or bones at the carpal tunnel squeezes the median nerve which causes numbness, tingling sensation and in extreme cases, pain.

In 2001, five years after working in a bank and just barely two years after I gave birth to Joshua, now 10, I started to feel what I would describe in the Filipino lingo, "PASMO or PASMA". My fingers started to get numb and got worsed overtime. The numbness would extend to the forearm and my upper back. One night I woke up and couldn't feel anything on my right hand. I couldn't lift it and I thought I got paralyzed. I shouted to my sister for help and had cried hard because aside from the pain I felt, I had no idea what was happening then.

I consulted a doctor who diagnosed me of Carpal Tunnel Syndrome. I had undergone an electrodiagnostic test also which showed the CTS more prominent on the right hand but also present on the left.

I couldn't remember the number of times my mom scolded and blamed me for this condition. She said it was because I never listened to her when she warned me during my youth, not to overwork my hand.

"Pasma", a distinct Filipino illness marked by numbness, pain and tremors of the hands is so similar to CTS that I think people who have "pasma" may have CTS in reality and just don't realize it.

Treatments suggested for CTS include physical therapy and neuro-surgery, both I don't want to undertake because of the cost. In the surgery procedure, the transverse carpal ligament as shown in the picture below is cut to widen the passage and release the tension.

Recently, after moving to Singapore, my CTS had worsened. I inquired about the cost of surgery to check if there is a way I can afford it. One clinic responded that a micro-surgery which is more effective costs $4,500.00 or P145,000.00. My gosh, I could get about 500 hand massage and paraffin treatment with that amount. Worst, many articles over the net doesn't suggest surgery because there is no guarantee that CTS will not recur.

For now, my only option is to keep my hands rested (not possible, I know) and get regular hand massage (not very possible also).

Wait a minute, I gotta shake my hands, I have been on the computer for over three hours already.

Slept Debt Accumulating Fast!

Conservatively, since 2004 to date, I have accumulated no less than 3,600 hours of sleep debt already. And that's just computed based on 2 hours lack of sleep each night. A very conservative computation indeed as most nights I would sleep only for 4-6 hours.

This started when I worked in a call center on graveyard shift straight for the two years. Since then, my body clock seems to have been altered extensively that even if I got nothing to do anymore, my mind would keep me awake.

Surveys show that sleep deprivation has become increasingly common and affecting millions of people especially those from the more developed countries. Sleep debt is the difference in the number of hours one should be sleeping versus the number of hours one actually slept and the more you accumulate sleep debt, medical research said, the more you are prone to chronic diseases such as hypertension, heart disease, arthritis, or obesity.

Ouch, did I just say obesity? Yes, obesity is one of the long term effects of chronic deprivation. Ouch again, I am afraid I am a likely candidate. I haven’t been able to keep my weight down after I gave birth to my first child. Although, I never really exceed the pass mark of obesity, I am already overweight. Well, at least not yet obese. Just overweight, I repeat.

Just like any other debt, sleep debt can be paid. Taking a marathon sleep on weekends isn’t a better way to do it. Sleep doctors suggest that it is best repaid by taking in an extra hour or two each night. Go to bed when you are sleepy and tired and just allow your body to wake you up in the morning.

This may sound a little impossible for me to do. Whether I like it or not, I have to get up at 5AM to prepare breakfast for our bread winner. The only way for me to catch up some sleep is in the afternoon when I put my little boy to sleep. With an hour or two in the afternoon, I am not even sure if I can repay all that I owed my body for the past 5 years.

But still I won’t promise to go to bed early at night and sleep for eight hours. I don’t know, I just feel that sleep is a waste of time. Stubborn me!

Unionbank of the Philippines Scam

I got an email today supposedly from UnionBank customer service warning me of a recent activity in my account and prompting me to update my account. The email look very legitimate with a "from" address as customer.service@unionbankph.com.

Click on the picture to enlarge

However, if you hover at the "Click to update" link, you will get a different URL which points to angpinoy.org. Angpinoy.org is a Davao-based site of Filipino Catholic professionals. A legitimate site.

If you eventually click on the "Click here for Update button", it will lead you to a site which may appear to be a very legitimate Unionbank site. However, the URL tells us that it isn't.

click here to see the legitimate URL of the Eon login and see the difference.
The IP address of the scam UPB site traces to Indonesia.Whew, I wonder how much could they scam from doing these things? Good business for them.

Be vigilant! If you are not a Unionbank account holder, do not click on the link, what's the point anyway. If you are a cardholder, always check the URL (web address) of the link you are clicking on to check if it is a legitimate one. Better yet, if you really think your account has been compromised, go directly to the web page of your bank then sign in from there.

Don't worry, simply opening the email doesn't put your account at risk. Clicking the link and much more signing in to the scam page is.

UPDATE: The site has been closed for
web forgery already!

What My Kids Will Never Experience

Click on the picture to get a larger view.

Pardon my sketch, I'm not really an artist. I am just trying to draw the best I can what I and my friends and my aunts and my neighbors experienced during our childhood days that my kids will never experience anymore.

I've probably wrecked a couple of short pants doing this. I will soon post another version of this.. the group version.. or would somebody want to help me with my drawing, please?

Jobless and Loving it

I think I am weird. I am the only jobless person who's loving it.

Since I and the kids moved here in Singapore to join hubby, I am pressured to go back to work. Three years ago I already had fulfilled my dream of becoming a stay at home mom and the thought of going back to an 8-5 job makes me a little excited but sad.

Excited because I would be earning my own income again. Since I stopped baking, I haven't had a source of income except from hubby's pocket hehehe. Wattalife! Sad because it would mean having to leave the kids again and just see them a few hours a day and weekends.

I have sent several applications online but doesn't get any single response except auto-generated replies. I must admit, I am happy with that. Sounds downright wrong! I should be worried.

For now I have stopped sending applications. I am very pessimistic it is getting me nowhere. Somebody, please slap me in the face so I could wake up from this dreaming. Some are just unemployed because they choose it.

I'm Blogging Again

It's amazing that my first blog had just turned four years and two months already. I just realized it when I imported the contents of my old/secret blog to this new site. May 2005 when I started my first blog entry.

I guess it was my former supervisor who got me into this. Blogging was something very new to me at that time and upon seeing the blog of my office mate, I got hooked, though on and off. You see, I'm the type of person who loves to scribble anything which is why I love notebooks (ask my hubby). My usual problem with notepads though is the tendency to have my scribblings all mixed up, from list of bills to be paid, grocery list, to do's, and just about anything, including my kids' doodles. Online blogging proved to be a good solution also to store my notes infinitely. If blogging could have existed during the 80's then I wouldn't have lost that diary that has become my mom's favorite reading magazine everytime she uses the loo.

Now, I find myself blogging again with intentions of doing it seriously. Ahem, I thought so too in the past. Let's see what happens.

First the meat, now the meds

As I was about to let Joshua have his meds this early night, I noticed that the medicines I bought were not in my bunch of grocery plastic bags. I was sure I did not forget to take it from the pharmacy and I could clearly remember putting the plastic in the shopping cart. My hunches tell me I left it at the taxi and it could have gone under the front passenger seat that I did not notice it when I alighted and removed the bags from the cab. To make sure, I went back to Metro to ask the guy who assisted me. He was sure there was nothing left in the cart.

This isn't the first time I lost a grocery bag in a cab. The last time, sometime in January, I left a bag of meat in the trunk. It was a week's supply and I was hoping the driver found it before it contacted salmonella LOL!

I felt bad especially that budget is hanging on the edge. I allowed myself to feel bad for a few minutes and decided to let it go and just think that it happens for a reason, to serve a higher purpose. I just bought a new set of medicine. Joshua's dental surgery now costs a total of 10000 because of the double price I have to pay for the medicine hehehe!

To God be the glory!

Clean Air Act?

The past weeks, MMDA sidewalk operation has been clearing up our area in C5. It was very commendable that they had cleaned up garbage and unwanted weeds and bushes from the hillside and had de-clogged canals, as well. However, it was very disheartening to find these same people burning the same garbage right there on the sidewalk emitting fumes that are clearly hazardous to our health and our environment as the garbage contains some plastic materials.

Section 20 of the Clean Air Act states:

Ban on Incineration. – Incineration, hereby defined as the burning of municipal, bio-medical and hazardous wastes, which process emits poisonous and toxic fumes, is hereby prohibited: Provided, however, That the prohibition shall not apply to traditional small-scale method of community/neighborhood sanitation "siga", traditional, agricultural, cultural, health, and food preparation and crematoria: Provided, further. That existing incinerators dealing wth bio-medical wastes shall be phased out within 3 (3) years after the effectivity of this Act: Provided, finally, That in the interim, such units shall be limited to the burning of pathological and infectious wastes, and subject to close monitoring by the Department.

Is it still small scale sanitation? And even if it is, isn't it common sense that burning plastic material is hazardous? Don't you think Section 20 needs revision already?

Small scale "siga" ... Just how small is it they're referring to?

Small scale isn't small scale anymore with the current condition the world is in right now. 'Pagsisiga' emits carbon monoxide.. Don't we have more than enough of it already in our air?

Gising!

Mosquitos

Why are you here again? You know you are unwanted in my house and yet you keep coming back. There is really a time of the year when they are a plenty. I refuse to use pesticides to drive them away anymore.

MY WEBCAM IS FINALLY WORKING.... are you getting these comments in your FRIENDSTER and FACEBOOK?

Are you getting annoying comments in your Friendster and Facebook account with the words..

MY WEBCAM IS FINALLY WORKING, PLEASE CLICK HERE... with some picture of a girl lifting her blouse? Ang bastoooos!!!! That was my initial reaction until I found out just today that those comments are caused by a worm called KOOBFACE.

KOOBFACE is a virus/worm that is hitting social networking sites such as FRIENDSTER, FACEBOOK and MYSPACE. Good thing it hasn't penetrated MULTIPLY yet. None that I know of.

Anyway, if you are getting these comments in your other networking site or your friends complained that you are sending them these messages, here are some simple advice from a NON EXPERT like me. I got this from another site but I AM TOO LAZY to google it again.

> CHANGE EMAIL ADDRESS AND PASSWORD.. how to do it, naku find out for yourselves nalang.. more often than not, nasa SETTINGS or ACCOUNT info yon.

> RUN A VIRUS SCAN and/or ANTISPYWARE in your computer. I have AVG Free antivirus and ZONEALARM ANTISPYWARE which I bought online. THEY WORK WELL WITH ME in TANDEM.

note: Be careful with FREE ANTISPYWARE or freeware available online. More often than not they are MALWARE and SPYWARE themselves.

>> for friendship sake, TELL YOUR FRIEND who send you the malicious comment TO SCAN HER COMPUTER for viruses.

>> DO NOT BE TEMPTED TO CLICK ON THE "CLICK HERE" portion of the comment or your bound to be domed too.

>> and as always, be cautious when visiting unsecured sites

MGA PESTENG VIRUS ay puksain!!! REFORMAT!!! hehehe!

Moving On No Matter What

Amidst global recession, thousands losing their jobs everyday, companies closing, shortened workours, without hesitation and second thoughts, we are soon packing our things and moving to Singapore as planned. These depression is not only affecting the Philippines or Singapore but every nation. Recession is not something that we have control of. If we get hit by recession, whether we are here or in Singapore, it will just be the same, so why worry about recession at all.

Let's just have Plan B and Plan C.

Affirmation of Values

Have I become a better person through the years? What have I accomplished so far from what I envisioned myself to be? What do I wish to do, what do I wish to become?

I am a person with no clear directions in life. Despite having been blessed with intellectual intelligence and swept primary, high school and college with consistent honors, I haven’t really attained much in life. The only trophies I am so proud of are my two sons and my family. They’re what I cannot trade with anything else, yet, I am still no good with parenthood. More so, I haven’t been successful in becoming an ideal wife material. I admit, these are my utmost goals and they are by far the most difficult to achieve.

I have simple dreams now. First, I want to be remembered as a loving mother to my kids. I want them to look back at their growing years and see me as someone who they can talk to freely, who they can count on through good and bad and who raise them in a home full of love. I want them to grow in a home where love and warmth is felt all day long. As a wife, I want to be one who is understanding and sensitive to the needs of my husband. One who speaks only of love and nurture that love until old age and til death do us part.

What is happening now is not leading to what I envisioned to be. My actions are not in conformity with my personal goals. I had alienated Joshua from me. Now he hardly listens to me, he hardly talks to me the way we used to. I haven’t been listening to him sincerely. I have spent more time with other less important things instead of sparing a time with him and Joseph for play. As a wife, I have been overly nagging at my husband. I haven’t been giving him warm attention and have been harsh to him in words.

Today, I am realigning these values, therefore I will not promise to amend myself, instead I will reaffirm that…

To my kids,

I am a loving and kind mother. I am only using kind words whenever I speak to them.

I am disciplining them in a way they will understand.

I am not using threats to get what I want done.

I am spending more time with them and set aside chores that can wait.

I am nurturing their minds and values through proper teaching and example.

I love them unconditionally whether they behave or not.

I feed them nutritious foods.

I am not using harsh words whenever I get mad at them.

To my husband,

I am a loving and understanding wife

I am soft spoken and not asserting that I am always right at all times

I am selfless and giving to his needs

I am holding our marriage with the highest esteem, protecting it from all threats that may arise through a more open and non-threatening communication

I am only using kind words when speaking to him.

As a daughter and sister,

I am thoughtful and more expressive of my love for my parents and sister.

As a child of God,

I am not arrogant when dealing with other people.

I am using only kind words when communicating to any person, whatever their status in life is.

I am obedient to the laws of nature and the laws of heaven.

I am attuned with nature.

I take care of myself as this body is the temple of God and is being lent as gift that I should take care of.

I am not wishing any person ill.

I am not attaching myself to material things.

I am generous in sharing blessings to the needy.

Is Adding a Year to College Really a Solution?

Lawmakers are debating. College students are complaining. Parents are protesting. Is it really a solution to improve the quality of education in the Philippines? I hope CHED will use their common sense as for me answer is NO!

This is just a waste of time and resources. If they want to improve the quality of education here, here's a one difficult but surely more effective alternative though:

STOP CORRUPTION and instead get those billions out of the corrupt officials' bank accounts and add them to the budget for basic education which would include:

>> RETRAINING OF TEACHERS especially those handling basic education (primary to high school).

>> IMPROVING THE QUALITY OF LIFE OF TEACHERS by raising their SALARY. This will attract more qualified teachers. Good teachers are a few to find as most of them had shifted to more rewarding careers or had gone abroad for better pay. I am one of them.

The list could go on and adding additional year to college wouldn't be necessary anymore if the problem that lies in the lower level of education is addressed. The best quality of education should be given to children and not adult.

I once taught a group of college students in STI and was disgusted to find out several students who do not even know how to spell simple words correctly nor read properly. Disgusting, isn't it? Those kids were suppose to become computer engineers. Will adding one more year in college help them? No, right?

Again, the list of factors affecting the poor quality of education could go on. This couldn't be addresssed by sacrificing the already worn budget of parents.

Desiderata

When I was in high school, a copy of this poem once hung in our living room. I used to memorize them word for word but never understood its meaning. Just moments ago I was listening to RJ radio on my phone and they had it as their parting song and somehow realized how beautiful it is. I am posting this so I will always be reminded of the things that I should desire.

Desiderata means “desired things” in Latin.

Go placidly amid the noise and the haste,
and remember what peace there may be in silence.

As far as possible, without surrender,
be on good terms with all persons.
Speak your truth quietly and clearly;
and listen to others,
even to the dull and the ignorant;
they too have their story.
Avoid loud and aggressive persons;
they are vexatious to the spirit.


If you compare yourself with others,
you may become vain or bitter,
for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.
Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans.
Keep interested in your own career, however humble;
it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.


Exercise caution in your business affairs,
for the world is full of trickery.
But let this not blind you to what virtue there is;
many persons strive for high ideals,
and everywhere life is full of heroism.
Be yourself. Especially do not feign affection.
Neither be cynical about love,
for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment,
it is as perennial as the grass.


Take kindly the counsel of the years,
gracefully surrendering the things of youth.
Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune.
But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings.
Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.


Beyond a wholesome discipline,

be gentle with yourself.
You are a child of the universe
no less than the trees and the stars;
you have a right to be here.
And whether or not it is clear to you,
no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.


Therefore be at peace with God,
whatever you conceive Him to be.
And whatever your labors and aspirations,
in the noisy confusion of life,
keep peace in your soul.

With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams,
it is still a beautiful world.
Be cheerful. Strive to be happy.

Babies in the New Generation are Technologically Advanced

My little boy is still two years, two months and two days old to be exact. At his age, he hardly speaks. His vocabulary is building up fast but he isn't talking straight yet. However, his technical skills is amazing. At his age, he can operate basic computer applications by himself already.

He turns on the computer if he finds it off, proceeds to login using the Open User I created for other family members. Depending on what he would like to do, he would click on the Start menu and click on Mozilla if he wants to watch his YouTube videos. Since I hardly clear the browser's cache, he finds his way to what he wants by clicking on the address bar which automatically highlights the URL, press backspace and types "Y". YouTube is usually the first entry which he then clicks on. He then spends several minutes watching his favorite animated videos, mostly, alphabet and counting videos.

If he gets bored with it, he goes to the Start menu again and search for the Folder in My Computer which contains his favorite pictures: Elmo, Barney, the Sesame Street, stars, butterflies. He doesn't know how to double click yet so I taught him to click on a picture and press enter to view it in a larger frame. He also knows how to drag and drop objects particularly to the Media player when he watches his favorite stored videos.

He also knows how to navigate to the Audibles section in YM's. So don't ever wonder if and when you try to send me a message and you get countless audibles. That's not me. (My YM is auto log in).

Sigh, my little boy is growing up fast technologically. I'm afraid that by five he'd be browsing porn sites, LOL! I am actually minimizing his computer exposure now. Not that I don't want him to learn fast. I am just lessening his exposure to radiation. Kids should be more active physically. Sigh again! Not very possible in my place.

Today's Menu: Hypertension

I finally decided to go back to my dermatologist today for a very, very long overdue follow up check for my contact dermatitis. I dropped by the Vital Signs section of the clinic for a quick blood pressure check. I was surprised to find out my BP is at high, 150/90. I told the nurse I'll take a rest and come back in a few minutes. I was surprise not because it's something new. I had been hypertensive already. I was surprised because I felt no symptoms at all. Most of the times that my BP soars high, I would feel some discomfort already. That's when I take my medicine. I don't really follow the doctor's advise to make Norvask a maintenance medicine. I am afraid of complications.

Today, the truth that hypertension is really a traitor disease was clear to me. It can occur without any symptoms at all. I tried not to panic as I don't want to worsen it. I proceeded to my derma's appointment and was prescribed Prednisone for a week. As I was about to leave the clinic, I realized I haven't asked her if it's okay to take steroids when blood pressure is high. Good thing she was still there and was told to cross out Pred from the prescription.

Sigh, I could have die because of that should I haven't had my BP checked earlier. Ouch!

The Evolution of the Electric Meter

Noon ang mga metro ng kuryente ay ikinakabit sa labas mismo ng mga bahay.... pero, dahil sa dami ng mga magnanakaw ng kuryente, inilipat eto ng meralco sa labas ng kalye na magkasama sama.

Ngayon.... dahil sa madami pa din ang magnanakaw nililipat na eto ng Meralco sa taas ng poste. Sa tingin nyo nababawasan ang mga magnanakaw ng kuryente sa ginawa nilang to?


(taken 08 April 2007 at C5, Taguig)


Ngayon ang mga magri-reading ng metro ay naka teleskopyo na!

(Saan na naman kaya nila ililipat to sa susunod no?)

Scheduled Dental Surgery for Josh

After confirming the date of their final exams from Integrated Montessori I was finally able to schedule Joshua's dental surgery. March 16 was the first date I booked but after realizing that a follow up date would fall on a group meet-up I have to attend, rescheduled it to March 18.

Joshua's front incisor is impacted and is growing horizontally. It has to be removed before other dental procedures can be done.

Dr. Joseph Macasiray would be doing the surgery as was highly recommended by Dr. Tan, Joshua's orthodontics. I have yet to visit their office anytime this week but I've already read good reviews about him in Girltalk, a female online community I frequent to whenever I need local information. The cost of the surgery is P8,000.00. I asked if they can do the surgery with the patient sedated as Josh is a bit afraid of the discomfort it will give. Yes, one can opt to be sedated but has to undergo several medical evaluation. I almost dropped the phone when the secretary told me the tests would amount to approximately P50,000. OMG, never mind, I said. Josh can take it especially when he will find out about the price. It will be easy to bribe him. A piece of PSP cd (pirated, oooopss, bad!) would be enough. Cheap kid.

I just pray that it will be as painless as possible and with minimal discomfort and I pray this would be the last dental surgery he has to undergo.

Incident, not Accident

Traffic was a bit heavy near our place on the evening of January 17. This was really unusual as C5 is a big highway and there is rarely traffic near our place unless there is an accident on the road. So I presumed there was a collision again. Upon reaching the overpass just right across our guardhouse, there were shattered glasses right under the overpass. A neighbor said there was an accident. A man was badly hit by a taxi so strong an impact that the front panel was shattered into pieces.

I wouldn't want to know whether he came out alive in that INCIDENT. I searched for the word accident and here is what I got from wikipedia:

An accident is a disaster which is specific, identifiable, unexpected, unusual and unintended external event which occurs in a particular time and place, without apparent or deliberate cause but with marked effects. It implies a generally negative probabilistic outcome which may have been avoided or prevented had circumstances leading up to the accident been recognized, and acted upon, prior to its occurrence.

Experts in the field of injury prevention avoid use of the term 'accident' to describe events that cause injury in an attempt to highlight the predictable and preventable nature of most injuries. Such incidents are viewed from the perspective of epidemiology - predictable and preventable.

This is why I wouldn't want to call it ACCIDENT because it never was.


These were the words of the MMDA billboard before it was stolen by highway thieves in our place. Even without those warnings, COMMON SENSE tells us all that it is PROHIBITED to cross C5 especially when there is an overpass in that area.

There are countless, IRRESPONSIBLE people in our neighborhood (and across the Philippine island) who refuse to use the overpass and would rather take their risk of dying and many got what they wish for. The incidents of death right below our overpass were countless. I don't know if I should pity them for they are irresponsible and lazy, never thinking of the little ones who will grow up without a father or mother and wives or husbands taking the burden in raising their kids alone because their partners were too lazy to go up and down the overpass. Many Filipinos lack the discipline to carry out simple task like this and yet we wonder why many Filipinos are poor. Tsk!

Being poor doesn't happen by accident. Sorry for the rant.

Xylocaine is the Name

I want to make sure I will not forget the name of the medicine that Joseph is allergic to. Xylocaine is a local anesthesia commonly used in dental procedures. Joseph had allergic reaction to it when he underwent a minor surgery when a cut in his chin had to be stitched.

My Mind's Busier than Ever

I've been sleeping really late the past days. The earliest time my eyes shut off would be tonight hopefully as I have promised myself that I'd change my sleeping pattern. It's 1AM and I said I'd just write one entry to my blog. I hope to finish this in less than 20 minutes so that by half past one I'd be snoozing which I doubt.

Since I started working in a call center in 2004 I had always been on a graveyard shift. It has been that way for two years then I resigned to be a full time mom. I was preggy with Joseph that time. Despite the pregnancy, I would stay up as late as 1 or 2AM either finishing a cross-stitch or watching some television series. My biological clock has been altered by my two-year stint in PeopleSupport or perhaps, I have developed late night sleeping as a habit already.

I love working late nights because there are no distractions. Last night I somehow felt the toll of late night sleeping on my body. My back was aching badly and my eyes felt like they will pop out of their socket already. I know I have to change ways, change my sleeping pattern. I know this isn't good for the overall health.

There is less project at the moment but my mind has been busier than ever. I have been thinking about tons and tons of things. This is the price of I have to pay for deciding to move to Singapore. Endlessly, I am trying to figure out the best thing to do with the things we will be leaving behind. Shall we sell the tv? Shall we bring it to the province? Joshua's dental problem, shall we have it fixed here or shall we have the mask made in Singapore? Which is more practical and economical. These are a few of the things that are bothering me.

Arg! I gotta stop thinking!

My Secret Cyberworld

I started this blog first quarter of last year to supposedly document my baking adventures and misadventures. I prefer to post in Blogspot those that I don't want the whole world to know. Multiply is such a big world out there even if I really have the option to just show it to whoever I want to share it with. Most people don't really have the patience to check out the links I posted in my online store thus only a few visits this link.

Blogspot is my secret world. I have a secret world in here. I have a very personal blog that only a handful of people knew and they might not even remember the URL already. I put it up in 2005 while I was still working in a call center. I document in that blog serious stuff about life, happy notes about my family, inspirations, frustrations, dreams (scary dreams). I wish to bring it forward one of these days. Who knows I might die so suddenly. At least, my loved ones would have something to read about my inner self through that blog. That plain and simple.

Starved

Starved, starving, famished, extremely hungry. This is what I hate about sleeping this late. Our kitchen is in the unit across and I don’t have some stock of food in here. Between 12MN to 2AM, my tummy already shouts food and there is nothing to grab but a glass of water. Somehow this has been helpful in bringing down my weight just a little bit and when I’m starving signals that I need to sleep already. If I let this pass for a few minutes, I know the hunger would go away. It’s all in the mind, I’m trying to convince myself. I don’t want to sleep yet. It would just be the same, I still would not be able to sleep right away. So go ahead Kate, starved some more!

The Coffee Bean Sentosa ExperienceThe Coffee Bean Sentosa Experience

January 01, New Year's Day was Sentosa day. It rained when we got there but that didn't dampen the spirit. It only stalled the experience for a few minutes. Towards the end of the day was Luge time. Unfortunately for me, I wasn't able to join the troop as Joseph was crying frantically. He doesn't want to wear the helmet. No helmet, no ride. Got no choice, he was very tired and sleepy already. To compensate that big loss for me, I decided to grab some coffee at The Coffee Bean (ehem, excuses, excuses, excuses!).

Despite my cravings for coffee, I opted not to get one as I didn't want to upset my tummy. Ordered Banana Chocolate Freeze instead so the little boy can take a sip too. Also got a piece of Granda's Scone. Maureen, the staff who got my order was a Filipina. Got my scone and was asked to claim my frap at the pick up counter. We sat at the table beside the counter so I could watch Joseph and wait for my name to be called. Minutes passed, people behind me already got their order while I was kept wondering when I'd get mine. I was trying to be patient until it's taking beyond acceptable wait time already. I stood up to the counter and was dismayed at the kind of attitude the two other staff were PUBLICLY displaying. Both the Chinese and the Indian girls wore UNFRIENDLY faces at nagdadabog pa ang isa, slamming shot glasses into the espresso machine. What a sight to behold! I called Maureen and asked about my Choco Banana freeze. The Indian girl said it was done already and somebody might have gotten it. Maureen has no choice but to make another one for me. Jokingly, told her to tell her colleagues na mag smile naman. "Ma'am hayaan mo, mga kupal ang mga yan!" was her reply. If it wasn't Singapore, I could have talked to their supervisor and tell her to replace her staff with Filipinos. I better get used to it.

If I were the cafe owner, the two gurls would have long been fired and replaced by Filipinos. As to the food experience, I'd say I'd better bake and eat my own scone and next time, no more Banana Chocolate Freeze.

Singapore We are Coming

I was relieved hearing it from Dad that we are finally moving to Singapore before June comes. I wasn't really in a hurry to pack up our things. I just need an assurance that we are indeed coming over to join him for good. That's all I need for now.

Farewell Baking for Others

Now I want to believe that I am really getting lazier each day. Burn out from working is a more acceptable term, it's as if I am really overworked. First, I got tired from baking. I swear, I miss baking because I miss eating homebaked goodies. I just got tired baking for other people, for profit. I know not everybody will respect my decision. Most will say it is too "sayang" to give up what I've started. What can I do, I have poisoned my mind that baking for profit is not at all times good. First, my health suffered. If those who say it's "sayang" could borrow my hands and feel what I am going through right now, perhaps, they will understand. Sadly for all of them who thinks I am wasting my so-called talents, I couldn't care less and heck, I don't live with their expectations, poor them!

Call it rationalizing my laziness but I found it difficult enough to do certain tasks without having to feel the discomfort the eczemas are causing. All the while I thought that taking a two-week break would heal them out but no, it worsened them. Thus, I want to shun away from baking for other people especially those that involved decorating. If I could only cancel all pending orders that I have, I would do that. I only got two hands, I couldn't buy spareparts, so the heck at what other people think.

I would continue to bake for my family and friends. That's it! They cannot force me to do otherwise. Afterall, it's me who will suffer from what others will enjoy, LOL!