Life and Death

November 30 - My sister and her beau arrived from Dipolog. They were here to be my sitters for my baby boy. I was scheduled for a C-section December 2. They brought an abundant supply of food with them: shrimps (superbig), tablea for tsokolate, budbud, bulad (cebuano for dried fish) and some herbs supposedly for tinolang manok :) . Later that day, we had to have a quick run to Market Market. We need some slippers. It was really quick.

At bedtime, I was kinda interrogating my sister how does a "labor" feel as honestly, I was not sure if I know how to identify one. I also told my sister that before the big day I will be indulging in those huge shrimps and a lot of puto-sikwate. Unfortunately, it had became a dream only as that night (or dawn), I sorta felt those contractions as described by my sister. I immediately got up at around 2AM, took Duvadilan as prescribed by my doctor a week earlier to avoid pre-mature labor. But I panicked when I noticed I had spottings before I went back to bed. I texted my doctor who advised me to go to the hospital already.

December 1, 4:43 AM - Joseph clinically came out of my tummy. I heard him cry a few times. I was waiting to see how he looked like but never did. I started to wonder and asked questions. I knew they were suppose to show him to me like when I gave birth to Joshua. The only answer I got everytime I ask about him is, he is okay, that he has to be rushed to the pedia because he was not able to cry immediately. In the afternoon, the pedia came to me to tell me the bad news. My little angel was in the ICU and was being endorsed to a specialist because he had a "little problem" as she called it. But as I was listening to her, it dawned my that the "little problem" meant that my little boy was in a critical condition, in a battle between life and death. They could not even give assurance that he will live. They simply said that it depends on how his little body will respond to the medication.

Joseph had severe sepsis and pneumonia due to meconium staining. They couldn't or maybe would not want to explain why. He was not overdue. I did not get sick except for a simple cold days before I gave birth, my blood pressures were constantly normal.

The day I did manage to get up and take a walk, I got to see my angel for the first time. I couldn't help buy cry. He was so helpless with tubes being inserted to his lungs and stomach. He has to be in a respirator because his lungs were not functioning. He was not breathing on his own. He depended on the machine to do it for him. My poor little boy! What a sad sight. I thought I'd lost him.

Dra. Corpuz told us that the first two days was the most critical, she couldn't tell yet if Joseph will make it. She could not tell at what percentage will he survive. She couldn't tell how soon he will have progress.

December 2 - Nurses said he was improving a bit. He showed signs of his own little breathing. That gave us hope but it had not stopped me from crying everytime I think of him. Daddy was scheduled to come home then. It was supposed to be in January but we needed him now more than ever. To kuya, we explained things on why he couldn't see his brother yet. He understood and as he has always a positive outlook on things said, he was gonna be okay.

Indeed he was. On the third day (December 3) when I went to the ICU, I came looking for my baby. I was not able to recognize him. He was so beautiful. All the tubes were gone!!!!! He no longer needed the respirator. Nurses said he just need a little oxygen. I was ecstatic. My blood pressure shoot up. I did not mind. Iwas just too excited. If only I could run upstairs to my ward to tell my sister the good news. We were all ecstatic.

He made it past the most critical stage. He was meant for us. We asked him from Him and He gave him to us.

Thank you Lord for such a wonderful gift.

Blessings Outpoured

Call it a multiple blessing for this year – an angel in mum’s tummy and an overseas assignment for dad. Though the latter may mean loneliness for me and kuya, we all take it with a big heart – an answer to our prayers. For months we have waited for dad’s overseas assignment and whether it is pure coincidence or blessing, one thing is for sure, it comes at the right time.

Mid last year, we were talking about having a baby sister or brother for the now 7-year old kuya. I kept on insisting that unless we have a hundred thousand bucks in our bank account, I will not risk it. This is because of the greater chance of having a C section again which really puts a hole in the pocket.

But God has His way of giving us His blessings. He sent us the message that we are going to have a baby right on Kuya’s birthday. Much more, the baby is scheduled to fully mature on mum’s tummy by December. Isn’t it a relief to know that bonuses are just on time for the baby’s birth?

Then very recently was the good news for dad and it was specifically meant for him. It was supposed to be for his teammate but who came in just 5 minutes late. Whoah! And this also means one more thing – hopefully, we should be debt-free when the little angel comes out. Loans – no more - plus the fact that we have a pending immigration application which would also cost us thousands of bucks. Papsi, don’t worry, di na mabuslot ang buslot na nimo nga alkansya.

When I think of how God has been very good to us, I couldn’t help but cry. I am just so happy that when things happen according to His plans, everything will just fall into it’s proper place in its perfect time.

Glory to God in the highest!

Good News and Bad News

Two days of not eating is too much for my suffering, just trying to survive with water and lots of it. I could only imagine what Josh and Jehu had to suffer earlier when they got their mumps. Got it from them. It was too timely for me as I am on leave from work. Ahhh.... I am suppose to go to Singapore on Thursday but I am not going anymore.

Much more, I am 5 weeks on the way. This is the good news. However, both Jehu and I don't know what to feel. We're happy yet so worried because of my present situation. I had taken several medications of ibuprofen and antihistamine the past few days for my mumps. To add to my suffering, I cannot eat anything. Even if my doctor said that I should not worry about it, I still am. That is the bad news.

When we told Josh that he is going to have a baby brother/sister, he did not show too much interest. Especially when he asked me when is the baby coming and told him, in December. In his mind, that's still way too far. But when I told him that the baby is already in mom's tummy, he jumped for joy. He became too excited. That's all he wanted to hear. I never realized it earlier.

He can't wait to give the baby it's name. When I told him that I want it biblical like his, he gave me a weird look. "Mom", he said, "It's not gonna be Moses or Noah, right?"

Hmnn... why not?